


Insomnia (Counting Sheep)

by QuillerQueen



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillerQueen/pseuds/QuillerQueen
Summary: For most of her life, Regina's had trouble sleeping.Inspired by a touching drawing by @ankareeda.





	Insomnia (Counting Sheep)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ankareeda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ankareeda/gifts).

_Inspired by [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632682) touching drawing by @[ankareeda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ankareeda/pseuds/ankareeda). _

* * *

_ 1, 2, 3, ... _

Little Regina counts sheep. She counts them every night, instead of a bedtime story. Mother thinks they’re silly tales for silly girls. Daddy rarely manages to sneak in with a storybook, and after he’s almost caught once, he never tries again.

_ … 4, 5, 6, ... _

Regina breathes in the smell of hay, and sweat, and horses. For perhaps the first time, she cannot sleep for happiness. The sky above them is alight with stars and dancing fireflies.

_ … 7, 8 , 9, … _

Queen Regina stares into the dark. The cold, hollow silence of her chambers is a welcome relief after a day of fake smiles and a night of tears.. Her silken sheets cool the bruises on her body but do nothing for the ones left on her heart.

_ … 98, 99, 100, … _

Two kinds of people in the world: wolves and sheep. Those who kill and those who get killed. The Evil Queen is a wolf—she has to be, to survive.

Even if those damnable sheep never let her sleep again.

_ … 106, 107, 108, … _

A new beginning—so why did it stop feeling that way after only a few days? The Storybrooke clock tower stands still, the clock face unchanging, the hands motionless. Nothing ever changes here.

\- - -

And then Henry comes into her life. Things change. Regina changes.

In those first months, she has no trouble sleeping. Any chance she gets, wherever she might be, she drifts off effortlessly with the exhaustion of new motherhood. And the joys of it, too.

_ … 664, 665, 666, … _

Villains don't get happy endings. She was always going to lose, wasn’t she? Her son is lost to her, and no amount of sheep—no amount of anything—can make her forget that loss.

The Thief might, with his brazen mouth and nimble fingers and his…_ oh. _

But that sweet oblivion is only temporary, and soon he’s bearing the brunt of her foul (sleep-deprived) mood again.

_ 1, 2, 3, … _

Does she get a fresh start? Every sleepless night she starts to count from one, but life doesn't work that way. Even she and Robin have a history, though they remember none of it. And an even more ancient history, it turns out when the lion on his arm sends her to flight.

By day, she’s haunted by what might be.

By night, by what could have been.

_ … 21, 22, 23, … _

Page XXIII. Robin—unmet, rebuffed, so very loved, gone and returned, only to be ripped away forever. She learns to skip the number steeped in hope and pain, going from 22 right to 24 pathetically bleating sheep. But he's with her anyway, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

_ 1, 2, 3, … _

Roni doesn’t date. Robin doesn’t push. He’s in her heart though—perhaps he’s always been, even before he ordered his first whiskey at her bar.

Sleep eludes her, and when she does doze off, wild dreams startle her awake of which she later remembers nothing.

.

.

.

This can't be real. She's already asleep, dreaming of him, of his return. He can’t be real.

But no, they're very much awake, both very much alive, and both here in the United Realms.

She has a crown and a throne, an office and the people’s trust. More than that—she has friends and a family. A family of which Robin is a part, finally, again.

Regina doesn't sleep. For three nights in a row she lies in Robin's arms: wide awake the first, drowsy the second, barely keeping her eyes open the third.

Regina cannot sleep. She doesn't count sheep, either. Instead she drinks gallons of coffee and pinches herself whenever her eyes close.

Robin finds her in the bathroom, red-eyed and half-delirious, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily through a panic attack on a bright Sunday morning. He doesn’t ask any questions. He already knows.

She melts into his arms, curls into his chest, buries her face in his T-shirt to inhale his scent—and if she had tears left to cry, she might shed them over how perfectly they fit together, including this moment, with their arms around each other and her head tucked just under his chin. She feels more grounded—and more terrified to lose this waking dream. Robin rubs her back, presses a kiss to her brow, whispers into her hair as he leads her gently back to bed.

“I promise you this is real. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. Now sleep, my love.”

She can’t help it anymore—with a dry sob, she gives in.

When she wakes, they’re still wrapped in each other, both still very much alive.

Regina smiles, pulls the sheepskin blanket tighter over them, and with a full heart and her mind at peace, goes right back to sleep.


End file.
